Cat-Women of The Moon
“Love-starved moon maidens on the prowl!”
Let me start by saying this is a bad movie. Not your ordinary kind of bad, but a darker more sinister kind of bad like four more years of Obama kind of bad, or you just slammed your paw in the car door kind of bad. If bad news was a movie it would be this movie.. . . And now . ..The Review. .
A rocket is heading to the moon. The crew (when I say the crew I really mean the cast from Dr. Drew’s celebrity rehab) of five, four men and one woman are preparing to explore the moon in the name of science. As they are approaching the moon their ship is struck by a meteor which causes an acid leak on a lower level (not sure why there is a huge tank full of acid on a rocket ship. .anyway). One of the astronauts dawns a bee keepers suit (in case there are bees in the lower level. . I guess. . Not sure. .) and goes down to investigate. He ends up putting out the acid leak by spraying it with a fire extinguisher. (not sure how that works exactly, but it seemed too). They land on the moon safely and prepare to explore by getting into their space suits (two of which don’t match.. Probably leftovers from another space movie). The crew exit’s the rocket via an one man elevator that they carefully operate by pushing buttons built into the outside fin of the rocket. (space humor) As they are looking around the moon (which is covered in stalagmites formed by water dripping from who knows where) they spy a cave and go to investigate. Inside the cave they notice there is gravity so they know it’s ok to take off their space suits. (I didn’t get that part either) Now dressed in active sportswear they go deeper into the cave and are suddenly attacked by giant moon spiders. Not having the budget to buy real ray guns they shoot the spiders with an ordinary earth pistol. They are next attacked then befriended by moon women wearing leotards. The moon women act like they are friendly but secretly have a plot to steal the rocket ship and head to earth.
The movie was made in 1953 by Z M Productions who went on to never make another movie and quite honestly shouldn’t have made this one. It was directed by Arthur Hilton (editor of Man Made Monster, Ghost Catchers) who learned after directing this movie to go back to editing. The title “Cat-Women of the Moon” is misleading as there is really nothing catlike about the women. (I guess it just sounded trendy at the time.)
The lead role, Captain Laird Grainger (estranged wife of Farley Grainger) commander of the ship is attempted by Sonny Tufts (Serpent Island, Cottonpicken’ Chickenpickers). His second in command Kip Reissner (who believes the way to handle a problem is to shoot it) is played by Victor Jory (The Man Who Turned To Stone, Manfish). Marie Windsor (The Day Mars invaded The Earth, Chamber Of Horrors) handles the role of Helen Salinger the mind controlled navigator who is dating the captain but in love with Kip.
This is a movie that should only be watched if you’re really needing to know how not to make a movie. It’s so stupid it would be funny to watch except it’s really not worth wading through all the crappiness to get to the funny parts. Miss it if you can. . .