Google Earth Visits Floppotamus

Google Earth cruised by the homestead today to update their street views.  They stopped briefly to peek in the windows and then grabbed a Diet Mt.Dew from the fridge apparently preferring that to a more nutritious un-sweetened cranberry juice that was available.

(Shown Above: Google Earth Camera Car at a local strip club having lunch)

John Travolta Is Revolta

Actor and deep sea flounder John Travolta today endorsed same sex marriages, he went even further asking President Obama if he could be the same sex marriage Czar a position he said would involve observing all same sex marriage activities and even engaging in them in an attempt to better understand the needs of same sexers to report to the Government. . . .  Creepy?. . You Bet!

Pitt of Boredom

In news that should only be considered news to people that are failing to thrive alleged actor and rumored goomba Brad Pitt told reporters there is no wedding date yet.  He also said he was working on a screenplay about his up coming marriage called “I married the mutant daughter of the alien Jon Voight.”

We Have Lift Off

The Falcon 9 rocket blasted off early this morning heading into space and history at the same time. President Obama lost no time giving a speech telling America he was responsible for the amazing and world changing space shot when he gutted NASA funding forcing them to look to the private sector for financing.  In the same speech Obama warned America that private sector space exploration was dangerous to mankind and without Obama regulating them anything could happen.

When Aliens Attack

In the 1956 movie “Earth vs. The Flying Saucers” .  Earth (in this case the good guys) follow the policy of Shoot First And Ask Questions Later. A sound policy that was  adopted by the army after the Gargon/Utah Massacre of 1948, when the army realized the element of surprise was a big deal.  But in this case shooting first only annoyed the flying saucer men who immediately death rayed the entire area turning everything into vaporized dust.  The flip side to the coin is the 1996 bad idea of a movie “Mars Attacks” in that flick the Government reaches out the hand of friendship to the Aliens invaders who rip the hand off at the socket while laughing at the Earthlings for being stupid enough to believe any aliens would come all the way to Earth for anything of a peaceful nature.  After carefully considering both movies one can only conclude that when aliens finally do come to Earth it probably won’t make much difference how the world tries to greet them,  humanity will be burnt toast.